I got a text from my best friend at the yard last night. Her and her daughter were looking for ideas for dressing up their pony for the Halloween show and managed to find my blog. I immediately went into panic mode and started rereading the whole thing to make sure I didn't say anything that might upset anyone, and finding out how they'd found me and how I could break down that chain.
I was pretty sure I hadn't offended anyone: I'm not that kind of person. However, the think I hate about blogs or diaries of any description is that they're just a snapshot of how you're feeling at a moment in time. Despite the fact that you might write in the heat of a moment that doesn't last, those feelings in that moment might be strong enough to hurt someone that you wouldn't dream of doing once you'd calmed down. So, while you've moved past those feelings and they've died down, someone else can come across them and read them days, weeks, months even years later. All of a sudden, those fleeting thoughts and feelings instead of disappearing have stuck around, and have upset someone who you've long been happy with. It can feel like a breach of trust, even though they're thoughts everyone has at some point. That, in essence for me, is the danger of writing these thoughts down.
Regarding the text message, I'm not sure I should have panicked so much. She basically said she couldn't believe how I receiving such shitty treatment and that I could ride their pony Spot anytime. (He's the little tank of an Appaloosa, about 14.1hh, who I rode once and liked, but I was literally bouncing out of the saddle as it was too small for me, and just couldn't stay in it when he tanked off. He was just playing catch up though, and as soon as I fell he stopped dead and started nuzzling my head, almost apologetically, wondering if I was alright down there). I thought it was an amazingly sweet offer, but I'm a shy person, so the idea of taking someone else's pony out once a week without them there seems a bit odd to me. So, I said I literally couldn't fit in his saddle so couldn't ride him. Turns out they're using a different saddle entirely, and I'm much more likely to fit into that. She basically said she had too much work to do to come on a Saturday as well, that being there when I saw her this Saturday left her running ragged, and she only asked Troy's leaser to ride him so he got exercised as she didn't have the time. I offered to muck out or do anything else that needs done on a Saturday e.g. grooming, turn-out, and she said I'd actively be doing her a favour if I rode him when I went down. So, if I can pluck up the courage to be bold enough to nab someone else's pony for an hour, I might just do that. She also told me that I don't need lessons, and that she doesn't allow me to leave! lol.
She also told me why she distanced herself from my RI, and why she uses another RI at the same yard. She also said she's sure her RI would fit me in and pretty much be free to teach unless she's at a show. I know her RI is much more competitive which might well be good for me, but I've also been told by others that she teaches because she has too, not because she wants to. So, it's an option for staying at my current yard that I need to think about.
I said I'd see her for the Halloween Show this Sunday. I've just checked the bus timetable and there is no early morning bus as it's a Sunday. Balls! So it' either lean on a friend to stay the night in my Uni town, or get an early train down. Spot's owner told me before I moved that I could stay with her pretty much anytime, but she's so lovely that I'm not sure I could burden her to ask!
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